Emotional Abuse
What is Emotional Abuse?
You are experiencing emotional abuse when your partner, ex-partner or family member manipulates you by shaming, blaming and guilting you into doing what they want and acting how they want you to act. Like other forms of abuse, emotional abuse is deliberate behaviour designed to create, maintain or regain control over you.
Verbal abuse – calling your names, making demands and shouting to humiliate or scare you – is a big part of emotional abuse.
Impacts of Emotional Abuse
Also known as psychological abuse, emotional abuse is a very common form of domestic abuse. The impacts of emotional abuse can be devastating and long lasting. It can affect your confidence, self-esteem and sense of self. It can also cause you to feel anxious and depressed, to self-harm and have suicidal thoughts. Being emotionally abused can result in you abusing substances to cope.
Does your partner/ex-partner :
- Insult and put you down
- Blame you for everything
- Tell you everything is your fault
- Constantly criticise you, your choices, your family/friends
- Call you names and humiliate you
- Mimic and mock you
- Embarrass you in front of others
- Body shame you
- Accuse you of flirting/being unfaithful
- Guilt trip you, give you the cold shoulder or the silent treatment
- Refuse physical intimacy to punish you
- Gaslight you - tell you you’re imagining things, remembering things wrong, you’re overreacting or too sensitive
- Threaten to take your children away
- Say that if you leave you can’t take the children and will never see them again
- Never take responsibility for their behaviour
- Always try to justify their behaviour
- Threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, family members or pets
- Threaten to kill themselves if you leave
- If you are LGBT+ threaten to out you or deliberately out you
- Blame their use of alcohol/drugs, mental health or family history for their abusive behaviour
- Promise you they will change, get help and never follow through
Recognising Abuse Beyond Physical Harm
Many women experiencing emotional abuse believe that they are not in an abusive relationship because their partner is not physically abusing them. The scars caused by emotional abuse are very deep and last long after a physical injury has healed.
Help Is Available
You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe, respected and valued.
If you are in immediate danger call the Gardai 999/112.
To learn about reporting abuse to the Gardai visit the Garda website.
